Even though I am a pastor, have 36 years of full-time vocational church ministry experience, have been a believer since 1966, I am still learning how to follow Jesus and live differently.  The current sermon series challenges me in my own relationship and walk with Jesus each week to live life differently.  All my life has been associated with followers of Jesus, the Bible, the church, missions and so many tremendous blessings.  Yet through all of these good things in my life I am still discovering and attempting to make application of spiritual truth in every part of my life.

I recently confronted one of my most damaging enemies in my relationship and walk with Jesus.  It was not shocking, but it was very convicting and humiliating.  I came face to face with the reality that my worst enemy is me.  I know that I must surrender my life to Jesus on a daily basis, that I need God’s Word and prayer to keep me in the right spirit, heart, and mind in order to truly and sincerely follow Jesus.  But my enemy, me, is the part of my conditioned way of relating to everything that happens around me that elicits reactions or responses.  If me is led by God’s Spirit then most often I have a Spirit led response to things that happen around me, however, if me is lax in my spiritual walk with Jesus then I easily react to things around me in the flesh, which is never consistent with the Holy Spirit’s leading in my life.  As I have thought and prayed about this conditioned way of relating, I have probed into my own mind and spirit to find out why me has this conditioned way of relating to things. 

What the Holy Spirit showed me is that my perception of things in life conditions how I relate to them.  The things that I deal with in life, me, makes a perceptive judgement as to whether these things are just, righteous, and fair.  That doesn’t sound bad at all, but the problem is that too often me judges these things according to if it is just, righteous, and fair for me!  If me does this then I react to situations in the flesh, dishonoring Jesus.  If me is Spirit controlled it will judge these things according to God’s truth, according to His work in the circumstances and according to how I can testify for Jesus, even if, it isn’t fair for me, even if, it isn’t right for me, even If, it isn’t just for me.  Me is not important at that moment, but Jesus and His reputation is, and since me is an ambassador for Christ then me needs to be most concerned in me’s perceptions of Jesus and His purpose in me.  This is humbling but freeing, because me relinquishes more of who me is to Jesus.

No doubt, me still needs to learn, but if me is to be my best asset rather than my worst enemy then me must learn to surrender me’s perception fully to the Spirit that indwells me to help me overcome the deceptions of wrong perceptions.  I am thankful that me has been exposed so that I can continue to grow in the grace and knowledge my Lord Jesus Christ.

“For I do not understand what I am doing, because I do not practice what I want to do, but I do what I hate…For in my inner self I joyfully agree with God’s law.  But I see a different law in the parts of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and taking me prisoner to the law of sin in the parts of my body.  What a wretched man I am!  Who will rescue me from this dying body?  I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” Romans 7:15, 22-25a

“Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, certain that God is appealing through us.  We plead on Christ’s behalf, ‘Be reconciled to God.’ He made the one who did not know sin to be sin for us, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” 2 Corinthians 5:20-21